They Still Talk

Do your current partner and their ex still speak on a regular basis? If so, this is definitely something that should make you worried that your partner may still have feelings for them. When you constantly make time for someone, it shows that you care about them... but why continue speaking to your ex when you don’t have feeling for them anymore? It doesn’t add up, right? If they speak every couple months or even years, there is no harm, but if it gets to the point where you notice that they are speaking every day or every week, then there may be an issue. If your partner is still doing favours for them and drops everything that they are doing just to do whatever it is their ex needs, this is a huge sign that your partner is not over their ex relationship. Nothing is more awkward than bumping into your current partner’s ex when you are with them, but what could make it more awkward is if they get extremely flustered and excited to see them. If they are smiling and looking down a lot and are doing things that make it look as if they are trying not to flirt, these can be indications that they are not over the ex. Rubbing the back of their neck while smiling can also be an indication that there are still feelings hovering around.

There is really no good reason for exes to still be best friends after breaking up unless they still have strong feelings for each other. If your partner hears about their ex getting a new boyfriend or girlfriend and becomes annoyed, there is a really good chance that they are still not over them. When you are over someone, it really doesn’t matter whether they have someone new or not. Take notice in the way they act when they are only just hearing about their exes new partner. Another reason to assume that they are still not over their ex is if they are still in contact with the ex's friends and family. If they still speak as if they are apart of the family or friends group, there is a good chance that they are still not over their ex. A lot of the time when getting into relationships, you don’t only create a bond with the person you are dating, but also their friends and family. Still speaking with the friends and family may not mean that they aren’t over their ex, but it still may mean that they are trying to stay close to them.

Social Media

Browser history tells all in this situation. If he is one of the men who do not clear their history, it can be quite easy to see whether they have been checking up on their ex. If you notice that their Facebook and Twitter profiles come up in their history, this is a sign that they are still into them. If they are still friends on social media this can also be a sign that they are not over them. Does your partner still follow their ex girlfriend on Instagram? Usually when we are over someone, we will delete them off of all social media just so we will never have to see them again, but if your partner still wants to see their ex, it can be a sign that they miss them and are still very interested in what they are doing. Another way that you can tell if your partner is not over their ex is if they still haven’t deleted their texts. Texts are definitely things that couples hold onto so that they can read over old messages and smile. If someone is holding onto text messages from an ex it can only mean that they do not want to forget the time that they had together. They may also be holding onto photos of them (including nudes). Not to worry you, but if they do still have nude pictures of their ex, they are probably not over them.

Hot & Cold

If you and your partner have a hot & cold romance, there is a chance that your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart is still with someone else. When your partner's affection for you is turned on and off, it can mean that they feel guilty about something—possibly the fact that they are still thinking about their ex? When they are hot, they may be putting their head back on and realizing that they have something good in front of them and they cannot continue looking back. This may be a constant struggle for them, which is why you must continue watching their behaviour to figure out what to do next. Feeling distant from your partner can make you feel very hurt. Sometimes when a person blocks you out it means that they do not want to end up hurting you (or sometimes even themselves), but for sake of conversation, if your partner is being distant with you, they may be trying to tell you something subconsciously. They may still have feelings for their ex girlfriend or boyfriend and may want to get them back. Being cold towards you would only make you not mind as much if they were to leave. "Ive been hurt before", really just means "I’m still hurt." If your current partner is telling you that they have trust issues and commitment issues because of their last relationship, this may not mean that they have feelings for this other person, but that they definitely have some sort of feelings still attached to them.

The Gap

How long was the gap between their ex and you? Depending on the person, it can take from three months until just over a year to get over someone. There is no real time limit to go off of, but there must be at least a three month gap for you to know that there is a chance that they are actually over their ex. If a lot of these signs are pointing at your partner and their ex, and it’s only been three months, then there is a definite chance that they are not over each other, or that your partner is not over their ex. When you go through break ups it is important to give yourself a good amount of time in between relationships to get yourself together before heading out and dating again.

Gifts & Clothes

A lot of the time when breaking up, a crucial step of getting over someone is getting rid of their clothes and belongings, along with the stuff that they have given to us. Anything that you can look at physically will remind you of them along with things you may see when you’re out and about—but thats enough to drive you crazy! If your partner still has gifts from or clothes of their exes, this may be a sign that they are not over them. Gifts are only memories of what used to be. If your partner has not gotten rid of them, this is definitely a sign that they are not over their ex, but it may not be 100% definite. If it’s a bigger gift, like a game console or a pair of shoes, it would be stupid to throw them away. If it is a teddy bear or anything small, it should be easier to give away.

When in a relationship together, it's nice to wear your partner's clothes. They have a special smell that can make you feel as if they are close by. It may make your partner feel safe. If they have still not given their ex back their clothing, there is a chance that they are still not over them.

They Say Their Name

AH! One of the worst ways to learn that your partner is still not over their ex is if they say their name during sex. This won’t only stop the action, but it will definitely not be something that you or your partner will ever forget. You may both feel terrible about it, but at least the truth it out... right? If this happens and it is still early in the relationship, it is easy to let them go, but if you have been together for a while, this is quite a nightmare. It would definitely be harder to let them go but for the sake of your sanity, you may have to.

You Just Know

A lot of the time, our intuition will help direct us to the right answers. If your intuition or gut is telling you that your boyfriend or girlfriend is still interested in their ex, it is very possible that it is true. However, sometimes we over think and believe that we know certain things when we don’t. If there is no real proof that your partner is interested in their ex, drop it, you may just be overthinking. If there are many signs pointing towards them still being interested, then you may have a bit of an issue on your hand. Make sure to keep your eyes open and read the signs—there are a lot of ways to figure out whether your partner is still into their ex. Do not base it on your intuition alone, but make sure that there is evidence to match up to it.

Getting Past It

If you and your partner both realize that one or the other is still not over their ex it can create a lot of awkwardness and hurt. However, there are ways of getting through times like these if you are willing to wait for this person. If your partner is still not over their ex, it is important to give them time and space. With this, you can continue dating and see where things take you, but it is not alright for you to sit around and wait for them while they still have feelings for another person. This will make you feel awful. If you are still not dating anyone else when they feel they are over their ex girlfriend or boyfriend, then you can try making things work, but it will never work if there is still someone else in their heart.

Even though the last person you want to talk about is your partner’s ex, it is good to just to get everything out in the open. Really listen to what your partner has to say. If it seems as if their feelings will always be there, you may have to choose whether you want to stay or not, but if they are still a bit down from when they have recently broken up, then you have to know that there is a chance that these feelings could disappear with time, and then you would get what you want: all of their heart. If they keep caring about their ex for more than three months after splitting up with them, then it’s time to go. This is stopping you from meeting the right person who will only be thinking about you. Let go and know that something better is on its way. If you are looking for more ways to deal with your partner who is still not over their ex, click here.