#1. You Are Lacking Connection

In any relationship, even though we might feel sometimes as if we're not exactly gelling, we should still be able to feel that there is a connection between us and our partner. If this is something that you've been wondering, please pay attention to your feelings and be honest with yourself about how you really feel. Sometimes, even when we know we're more into our partner than they are into us, there's a tendency to stay put simply because we care for them so much, and we know that they're not going to go anywhere. Is that really enough, though? Will that really be enough to keep you truly happy for your life? Isn't it worth taking a chance and being able to discover, one day, that enjoying a connection that goes both ways is one of the best things in life? We all want to feel that our partners love us as much as we love them, and that they feel as connected to us as we do to them. Any relationship that is based on less than this is not likely to be able to withstand the many difficulties that we're all sure to go through in our lifetime.

#2. You Feel As Though You're Being Pacified Rather Than Cared For

Oh, this. This really is an annoying feeling, because even though someone's listening to you, they're not actually HEARING YOU, and they're really only going to do enough to keep you pacified so that you move past the issue you're having. When someone truly cares for you this will never be the case. They will hear you out, and validate you. They will take the time that is needed to help you get to a place where you feel good about what's happened, and they will want to move forward with you. They won't just pacify you, they will genuinely tend to your needs and care for you, because they truly enjoy seeing you happy. You know this too, of course, because you would do the exact same things for them, for the exact same reasons. This is what goes on in a truly loving relationship.

When this is not the case though, you can always feel it. They may help you resolve an issue so that you can move past it, but it always seems to feel like there's something missing throughout the process. If you let this go on enough, turning to your partner for help in tough times will ultimately lead to a situation where their way of helping you through things serves only to amplify the initial negative situation. This is simply never going to be enough for you, and if you choose to settle for them simply because they've chosen to settle for you, then there is always going to be the sense that you're not being cared for - and that's not a feeling that anyone wants to live with.

#3. Your Sex Life Is Not Fulfilling

It can’t be said enough that sex is an important part of any relationship. No, it isn't the be all and end all of your relationship, but if you're not feeling fulfilled, and this is rule rather than the exception, then you've got some serious questions that you need to consider asking yourself. People who are in happy, healthy relationships tend to feel comfortable speaking with their partners about their sex life, and letting them know if they're not exactly in the best place with it at a particular time. If someone is interested in you sexually, they are definitely going to want to talk about these things with you, and work through whatever issue you need to.

If someone isn't really interested though, and they're not into working on improving the sex life in your relationship, then there is a very good chance that they're settling for you. There will always be a lack of fulfillment and connection in your sex life if one or both of of you is settling, and unfortunately, if they're just not into it, no amount of counselling or talking it out is going to make this into a better situation. A healthy sex life is a vital part of any relationship, and if you're with someone who's settling for you, it's never going to be as good as it should be.

#4. You Feel Alone

This is getting down to the bare bones, but if someone is settling for you, ultimately, this is exactly how you are going to feel. For all of the reasons previously mentioned, and the reasons yet to be mentioned, you are going to feel alone if you are in a relationship with someone who is settling for you. If you're with someone who isn't really into you, you're never really going to feel like you're a solid team, and it’s always going to feel like there's something really important missing. It's essential that you don't dismiss these feelings of loneliness when you have them just because you're involved in a relationship. As a matter of fact, you should embrace these feelings when you have them, and allow yourself to fully feel the emotions that surface when you're feeling this way. This is a major step toward being honest with yourself and facing the truth about your relationship.

If you're feeling lonely in your relationship, and you know that you're putting the effort in on your end, then you know it's not being reciprocated from your partner's end. The reason for that is very likely that they're settling for you. There's nothing wrong with anyone wanting to stay in a relationship that provides them with a sense of comfort, stability and routine, but it's up to you whether or not that is allowed to take place in a relationship at your expense. If your partner is settling for you, you are always going to feel alone. You just need to decide if that is something you're willing to settle for.

#5. You Realize That You Don't Belong Where You Are

Given all of the things we've discussed thus far, there's a very good chance by now that you've realized, or at least, are starting to realize, that you're not where you're supposed to be. This is a lousy feeling, of course, but if you take a look at it from another perspective: it's a good feeling to be having, because it means that you're allowing yourself to see things for what they are. That's the first and most important step towards moving in the direction you need to be moving in to find your way to being truly happy.

Everyone wants to be truly happy, and it's important that we all give ourselves a chance to move on from situations that we aren't happy with, and give ourselves the chance to explore what else is out there. This is just on one step toward meeting the person we're supposed to be walking down that path with. So, as much as this might hurt and could potentially turn your life upside down for a while, knowing that you're not in the right place is a good realization to have, because it means that you are recognizing that things aren't right. You know that you need to start making some changes, so that you can find your way towards true happiness.

It's really important, as you go through this, that you are honest with yourself; listen to your own inner voice. You’ll ultimately address how you're feeling, and take the necessary steps towards making the situation better for yourself, and, in all honesty, for your partner. There are a lot of reasons why some people choose to settle in relationships, and NONE of us wants to be the person that anyone chooses to settle for. Sometimes people see that this is how their parents were with each other, and they had a pretty stable, 'normal' life in this dynamic. Maybe they feel that this is enough for them, and by extension, you.

This is not a compliment though, and feeling unhappy and alone is certainly no way to move through your life. In the long run, you'll actually be doing yourself and your partner a great service by addressing this, and making the decision to move forward in life, separately. It will give you both the opportunity to find and enjoy the kind of relationship that you both deserve to have. Everyone deserves to be happy in their lives, and, sometimes, we need to be the one who is brave enough to move on.

Understanding How You Got Here

Don't worry, you're not the first person to end up here, and you certainly won't be the last. There are a lot of reasons why we end up in situations where we're settling, and/or the people we are with are settling for us. No one sets out to do this, and surely, no one wants to be on either side of this situation. It's important to realize that getting to this point was likely not a straight line, but getting out can be. It doesn't need to be difficult, and it doesn't need to involve a messy break up. If you're feeling this way, then by staying, essentially, you are also settling for your partner, and really, this isn't flattering to either one of you. Be brave enough to talk this through with your partner, come to an understanding, and walk away on good terms. There is absolutely no reason to be angry or place blame.

Deciding To Move On

Once you've come to terms with everything, you'll actually end up being surprised with how easily this decision ends up being made. Moving on is something that you're both going to need to do, and generally speaking, the most difficult part about moving on is simply taking the first step. Once you've done that, the rest unfolds on its own, in whichever direction you choose to allow it to unfold. Be brave as you take the first steps towards moving on. Everything is going to work out fine.