#1. He Changes His Story

Does your partner ever tell you something and then the next time you bring it up, it's a completely different story? This could be two things; either he's lying to you, or he has a really bad memory. Both are possible, but think about this...how often does he seem to forget? If he's changing his stories about where he went, who he went with, and what he did, it might be a sign that he's not being entirely honest with you. If you confront him about this he could get defensive, but if he has nothing to hide, he'll want to clear things up. His reaction will tell you what you need to know. The best relationship advice here is to go with your gut. If you feel like something's not right, it probably isn't. A relationship should be about trust, and you should feel secure enough to talk to your partner about what worries you. If you can't clear the air, it might be time to move on.

#2. He's Weird About His Phone

I don't know about you, but if my partner was constantly hiding his phone, putting it on 'do not disturb', or grabbing it away from me too quickly after showing me something, my red flag detector would be going crazy. Everyone deserves their privacy, and there's a fine line between being included and being nosey. Be real about your intentions, and you'll have a clear idea of where you stand. If you ask who he was talking to/ messaging, or you ask to use his phone because yours died and he hesitates, gets mad, or starts to act strange, you might have a cheater on your hands. Again, bring this up and feel out his reaction. If he's not at all concerned that you're concerned, or he somehow makes you feel like the "crazy girlfriend", you should put on your Nike trainers and BOLT out the door.

#3. He Has A LOT Of Girl Friends

This has been an issue in relationships since the time of cave hopping Neanderthals - I'm assuming anyway. Is it okay to have friends of the opposite sex? Of course it is. It's healthy to have friends. Here's the thing though. If you had those friends before you started dating, that's one thing. If you're continuing to make friends of the opposite sex, and you're not doing it together as a couple, that might be cause for concern. If your boyfriend comes home with an update of making a new girl 'friend' every week, it might be time to talk about the benefits of these friends. Why is he so insistent on giving his time and energy to someone else? If he has that time to be making girl friends, does that mean he's sacrificing his time with you? Is he messaging these friends during your time together? Opposite sex friends exist, let's not be prudes here. It's possible to just have friends, of course, but we are humans with sexual desires, and generally when we find someone of the opposite sex that satisfies our wants and needs, we don't have the need to meet anyone else. If our needs are met, we focus on the person who fulfills them. Does that make sense? Do you have a lot of guy friends? If you're focusing on your partner, and your partner is focusing on other women, and continuing to make female friends, maybe you need to have that unwanted talk.

#4. He Doesn't Invite You To Important Events

Has more than one holiday, work party, or family event come and gone without an invitation being extended by your partner to meet his parents/ family, or be his date? This might, of course, depend on how long you've been together, and if you're ready to take things to the next level, but if you're in a monogamous relationship with a guy who's proud to have you hanging off of his arm, and wants to show you off to the world, you should be a part of the guest list. Maybe he's not ready to introduce you to his family. That's okay. But his friends are a different story. If he's constantly going out and not inviting you to come, I don't know about you, but I'd be worried. You should also be getting red flag vibes if you're inviting him to do things with you and he's constantly coming up with reasons why he can't make it. Scheduling conflicts happen, but you'll know if it's more than that. If it's becoming a pattern, then you need to re-think the nature of your relationship. Are you just around for when it's convenient? Is he trying to build something with you? These are valid concerns. If you feel like you're being kept at arms length, you likely are.

#5. He Ignores Your Calls/ Texts

This one comes up a lot when a partner is cheating. You go from a consistent slew of back-and-forth messages to radio silence in a short span of time, and then you might not hear from your partner until the next day. Does this happen to you? If so, you might have a cheater on your hands. Is it midnight and maybe your partner fell asleep? Okay. Fair enough, but if you find that this is happening throughout the day, on the weekends, and at times when you know your partner is awake, you need to clear things up. Why the sudden disappearing act? It's easy to avoid questions when you avoid a person altogether. If that sounds like your relationship, and you can relate to being the person on the ‘where did he go all of a sudden?’ end all to well, you need to confront your partner. It's likely that he's disappearing during times when he's giving someone else his attention. And again, if you get the ''crazy girlfriend'' spiel, get those Nikes ready.

When you're on the hunt for relationship advice that's going to either prove your instincts right or wrong, there's already a problem in your relationship. If you have to question things, or you have a feeling that your partner isn't being honest with you, the best thing to do is confront them. If your boyfriend is open to having that talk with you, and genuinely wants to ease your mind and reassure you that he's not hiding anything, or cheating, then maybe you have some issues that you need to work through yourself. Past relationships gone wrong can leave a scar on us that we unintentionally bring into new relationships. If you haven't quite dealt with your past experiences, or gotten over the fact that not every man will do you wrong, you might need to ask yourself if you're ready for a relationship. Sometimes WE are the ones who are destroying a healthy relationship with our own fears and insecurities, and maybe even reading too much into things that aren't there.

If the signs above are too relatable, and you know that something isn't right, then of course you have reasons to confront your boyfriend. You should never be in a situation or relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable, and if you are having doubts, and you feel like they are justified and valid, you need to decide if this is the right kind of relationship for you. If you're with the right person, you might have moments of insecurity, but your partner will always ease your worries if the respect and love is equal. No one should ever make you feel like you're crazy for inquiring about something that's on your mind. If you're unsure, and you can relate to the signs of a cheater all too well, the only way that you're going to be able to move beyond your doubts is if you deal with the issues, and move forward together. If your partner is giving you push back or making it difficult to clear the air, you definitely have to re-think your relationship.

What Should You Do Now?

Choosing the right time to be vulnerable about your insecurities isn't easy, and there will never really be a right time. There are some wrong times though. For example, never when you're out with friends, or when you've had too much to drink. Nothing good will come out of trying to have a serious talk in both of those scenarios. Tell your partner that you need to talk, and find a time when you can both concentrate on the topic at hand, and give each other your undivided attention. If you come in peace, your boyfriend should have no problem responding with the same approachable attitude. Remember, there's nothing wrong with having feelings of doubt, but the way you approach them will determine the outcome of bringing it up to your partner.

Moving Forward

If your boyfriend assures you that you have nothing to worry about, then you have to move forward. No more bringing up past situations. You can't get over something if you don't get over it. If you keep prying and accusing, and feeling like your boyfriend is cheating, even if he's not, you will drive a wedge in your relationship, and eventually cause a split. You have to trust your partner, especially if they take the time to honor your feelings. Not everyone is out to hurt you, and if you don't give your partner a chance, then you won't allow room to grow and enjoy the positive aspects of your relationship. You have to know when to let go. If you accept your partner's word, then you have to learn to let go and let your relationship develop in a positive direction.

Moving On

On the other hand, if your partner admits to cheating, or won't explain himself even once, and makes you feel like the bad guy for having your feelings, then it might be time to accept that your relationship isn't what you want and you have to move one. It's never easy to accept that the person you fell for is doing you wrong, but it's better than being stuck in an unhealthy relationship for too long. Start the process of moving on and getting on with your life so that you can eventually meet someone that won't intentionally hurt you, won't cheat on you, and won't make you doubt yourself. The sooner the better. You deserve happiness, and if you're not getting that from the person that you're with now, life is too short to waste hoping that that person will eventually change or give you what you want. Acceptance is key to moving on. Accept that it's not you. Accept that you'll be better off without that person in your life, and accept that once you let go of the bad, you allow for good to enter your life.